ALL BLANK...

I duuno.. i wanna write so so much ... but i am suddenly all so blank.. and stunned.. dunno what to say...

I am a bag of mixed emotions right now... somewhere happy and sad .. i dunno.. i think i have lost myself somewhere in the past few months... i am getting drained mentally and physically... but to the world i am showing myself all strong and ready to face the world... and ya its all my fault.. no one else's..I am the one who is punishing myself..

I had actaully stopped crying for weeks till last night scared that i would be all alone trying to console myself... but last night i did probably cry for some hours with my eyes all puffy in the morning.. and there again i think i deserve it... I duuno what it is with me.. do i just not get things .. am i so bloddy dumb... and still haven't grown up..

Yes someone did tell me that i need to grow up.. and yes someday i will.. i am sure of that.. but the day all the innocense in me will vanish .. the person who told me to grow up would probably see a different me..

I duuno what to do.. i just feel like leaving everything and going away for a few days with no one to talk to.. no phone calls... no worries about being first with the news.. no nothing.. JUST AIMLESS.. n probably that should not be the right attitude at this age... but yaa.. i can feel the drain now..

And now my minds not working.. i can't write anymore because the framing of sentences is taking a long time... so im off... and may be off for a few days from blogging... Will be all fine when i am back... and i am sure on that..

Love
Taa...