MEMORIES + FUTURE

So, this could probably me last post for the year of 2009... so i may just state a few things about the year that passed by and a few things i would probably wish for in the coming one...

SO THE YEAR GONE BY----
--I really don't have any regrets in this year.. or a matter of fact any year... i never like keeping any regrets, because whatever happens... always happens for a reason... and though something must have made me cry for days--weeks--months-- i think all in all it was a learning experience.
My work has been really good this year.. i could myself grow with work in the last few months particularly.. may be it was only because of the work pressure that was loaded on me because of some colleagues quitting.. but i think i did gain out of that... I have a better understanding of work now.
With my friends i think it has been a great year.. i met many new friends and the old ones just got thicker.. i have to always thank AMEYA and MOSAM for always being there.. Though there were many times when i must have not been in touch with them for out timings wouldnt match.. but i would make it a point to talk to them atleast onc a day.. and try to meet them atleast once a week.. even if it were only for 30 min i would def do that.. i love these guys and will always do.... ITI as usual always been there as my biggest pillar.. she has been there like a rock for me.. even when she was not in the best of times.. she has always been strong for me.. and cared so much for me.. how much ever i would thank her it would never be enough.. i love her loads and she knows that.. but how many ever times i tell her that i think its always less..
My family... what can i say.. they have taken shit loads of tantrums from me.. i have not been home for days together.. but no complains at all... i must have spent more time with my friends than family.. but they would never say anything.. thye always knew friends always kept me at peace.... MY FAMILY ROCKS... n my parents are the coolest and bestest..

SO THE YEAR AHEAD
--Though i don't have much of wants for the next year.. the only thing i want is some peace of mind.. want me to do much better from the work front... achieve much more than what i have done this year.. Become more independent and responsible.. Learn much mroe.. because there is loads to learn.. the learning process will never stop..
-- I also want to become a much more matured.. i am still a kid from the heart and mind.. i need to start thinking practically and need to understand that not everyone around you is as sweet as they seem.. but i don't knwo when that will really get into my small brains.. n i def have to stop thinking from my heart.. it's all because of my heart that mentally i go for a toss... but i think ill become much better next year..
-- Just want my family to be happy always and smile and content.. and want all my friends to be the happiest.. hope they achieve everything they want.. n all their dreams start coming true from this year itself.. and yes ITI.. yours def will.. and ill pray for it always.. because you become famous.. and i will proudly tell everyone that i know "ITIKA SHARMA" :-)

Love Taa

walking by the memory lane....

So, just around 10 days left for the new year to begin.. and to me this year has passed so fast.. its like just some 3-4 months back that i spent my new years.. and sometime back that itika had come to mumbai..

But ya this year has been really memorable in many ways... i learnt a lot.. cried a lot.. and grew up in many ways..

So.. lets name a few memories that will always be embodied in me FOREVER.. (so i should say)

** Ok so the first mention has to be ITIKA.. U COMPLETELY ROCK GIRL... i think i have found the closest n bestest friend who i could always go to.. She has been there always.. either when i was sad.. or happy.. n has heard me go non-stop on the same thing (person) on n on n on.. but i must mention.. she has solid patience with me... i don't think i can ever thank her for that... even though she is miles apart from me ... i just have to tell her im a lilttle low.. she would just have to call me and there my moods all OK.. Thanks love.. n i hope i can always be there for you in your tough time.. like u have been there for me.. LOVE U LOADS.. MUAAH..
P.S--- and yes vl def live in a 120 bedroom house and my room still be the closest to yours.. :-)

** Then i would put in my work.. because how much ever i may crib n crib about the job .. it has made me grow as a person.. i have learnt how to be much more responsible in life.. and tackle situatiions more maturedly....

**Ok so the next mention.. though we may have more downs then ups ... it still deserves a mention because in this past one year he has played an important role in my life.. AMPU.. Though out of the 12 months v may have not spoken at all for 6 months.. so one knows the amount of arguments we must have had.. but the ups are also that important.. because he too has been an important part in my life.. he was helped me think a little more maturedly in life.. has helped me when i just needed someone to listen to me go yap yap yap... though for sure he has got irritated like a million times on me.. but when i just saw i wanna meet him he would somehow take out sometime.. so yaa.. to him too.. thanks a lot for whatever help he has been to me.. love u too..

** m,y next mention would be my family and friends who always been there in the past 24 years of my life... thanks a lot everyone... for shaping my life much better.. and making me realise the worth of my relationships...

ok now enough of this sob sob.. love ull people.. have loads of fun.. n an even greater year ahead.. which would def be better than this year.. lvoe u loadss.
muaah

Love,
Taa

Memories lure back...

So it was a normal thing for me in the merning today.. to get up early.. do the routine work at home and leave for office..

But today while i was in the train i was talking to a Ameya and we were talking about the terrorist attacks that took place in the city a year back... and how the whole 3-day attack shook the city for sometime.

So while on my way in the train it was just a different feeling all together... I remembered exactly the same time last year there was so much of tension in the air all around me... All my freinds and family members telling me not to go to office... But something in me wanted to do just that... and i went with my instinct...

Though i must agree i was a littly apprehensive at the start but then i was like "If i do what everyone else is doing.. that is sitting at home and watching all the news channels go yap yap... then what difference am i bringing into this small world of mine."

Though i cant deny the fact that a thought did pass my mind.. "..that what if something would happen.. what if there were terrorist still somewhere near the station..." But i believe that was just a mere thought and nothing more..

The scene is still fresh in my mind where in i get down at VT station and i was the only girl walking on the station just about 10 hours after the terrorist had attacked the place... It was probably the only time the station ever looked so deserted and only a few people were there and also who where in their own thoughts...

Ya while i am writing this it does get me a chill down my spine and hope nothing like this happens ever again not only in my city but anywhere in the world..

The city looked so much in peace today.. like the side walk below my office... there were these people sleeping so peacefully without a slightest doubt that something or somebody could attack the city once again...

Probably that BOMBAY for you... people just move on.. continue with their routine work.. it's only when a situation hits you personally that it lasts with us forever... if it's an exterior hurt.. it goes away as time flies by...

So i think i must move on and continue with the daily mundane affairs... probably that how life is...

Taa.

ALL BLANK...

I duuno.. i wanna write so so much ... but i am suddenly all so blank.. and stunned.. dunno what to say...

I am a bag of mixed emotions right now... somewhere happy and sad .. i dunno.. i think i have lost myself somewhere in the past few months... i am getting drained mentally and physically... but to the world i am showing myself all strong and ready to face the world... and ya its all my fault.. no one else's..I am the one who is punishing myself..

I had actaully stopped crying for weeks till last night scared that i would be all alone trying to console myself... but last night i did probably cry for some hours with my eyes all puffy in the morning.. and there again i think i deserve it... I duuno what it is with me.. do i just not get things .. am i so bloddy dumb... and still haven't grown up..

Yes someone did tell me that i need to grow up.. and yes someday i will.. i am sure of that.. but the day all the innocense in me will vanish .. the person who told me to grow up would probably see a different me..

I duuno what to do.. i just feel like leaving everything and going away for a few days with no one to talk to.. no phone calls... no worries about being first with the news.. no nothing.. JUST AIMLESS.. n probably that should not be the right attitude at this age... but yaa.. i can feel the drain now..

And now my minds not working.. i can't write anymore because the framing of sentences is taking a long time... so im off... and may be off for a few days from blogging... Will be all fine when i am back... and i am sure on that..

Love
Taa...

PICTURE PERFECT..

Oh the weather in Bombay is just so beautiful and it is worth every reason for me being born in this city.. Thanks mon n dad.. ;-)

It has been raining non-stop since 24 hours.. and probably the first time i have seen it rain like this in November.. n the only song that i can think currently is November Rain and for some reason i am goin on on humming bubbly face..

The view outside my office window is just so picture perfect that it would probably stay in mind till the next season.. I just feel like getting out of this office and going on the longest walk on marine drive.. n letting the small droplets just fall on my face.. and enjoy every moment of this weather..

Had it not been for my sudden change in attitude towards life.. i would have probbaly taken the day off.. or come in late to office and have enjoyed the early morning weather.. but i am in such a mood to work nowdays that my boss woke me at 7:15 and asked me if i could reach office by 8:15.. n yes i beat him to that and reached office at 8:00..

The best thing to do in this weather is to sit by some window that overlooks the sea... have some lovely coffee.. listen to lovely music.. i oculd be like that for hours together..

I am just imagining this whole scene and its making me happy.. and probably fulfilling my wish of doing all this also...

I wish Iti was here.. then i would have definately done some part of this.. becasuse i know how crazy the two of us are... we would have def done this.. Love u.. muaahh...

ENJOY THIS WEATHER...

Happiness all depends on you..

I know i have not blogged since a long time.. it may be becasue i was too busy with a lot of things or i just didn't feel like blogging..

So, now my life is going great as it has been going that way since a really long time and touchwood for that..

Or may be its the change in attitude that i have taken on me now.. JUST LET IT BE.. don't think too much over something or somebody..

I think everything that happens.. happens for a reason.. So, yes i am happy.. for every small thing that has happened to me since the last few days.. weeks.. months.. years.. or may be since the time i landed on this earth..

I sit back thinking and then realise that i am so lucky than many other people in this world.. atleast every part of body is functional.. i have a gr8 family.. superb friends.. a good job as of now.. and what else do i need.. everything is in place.. ya may be i don't have a special someone to share it with..

But i think that's also fine.. i can't be that demanding in life too.. and if i have to get that someone special .. i will get it sometime .. somewhere.. but for now just LIVE..

And to my family and all my lovely friends... i love ull a lot.. n it's because of ul that im still flaunting my smile everyday..

Love

Smile all the way..

I know im bloging after a really really long time... Actually have been very busy with diwali and family... which was a very good thing... spent a lot of valuable time with my family...
Diwali was in the true sense.. THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS.!!!!

I was telling a friend that day... Im high.. n the first thing he asks me are you drunk..??? and im like no.. without drinking im generally very high on life... im loving just about anything and everything right now... though it may not be going the way i want.. but im loving every part of it.. and that for sure is showing on me... ( IM BLUSHING)

Work is going great.. overloaded with work.. but enjoying that too.. probably that's what is keeping me happy... because i don't have the time to think about useless random things.. :-)

And i think im finally proving myself a bit.. which is a good sign too.. i just wanna be SMILING... that's all... a lady in my sis shop came up to me n told me " you have a 100 watt smile.. its really nice to see u smile.. it's very refreshing." since then i feel like smiling always.. because in a day with me smiling if i can make a person smile.. then why not make one person's day...

Im listening to Tum Mile tittle song... n i just love it... it's soo good.. n makes me even more excited.. hahahha

Anywas now me off.. get back to work.. was just excited so wanted to blog...

Love Taa..

something not really thought about...

Everything was different before,
But now, I can’t take it anymore,
Following the light, leading to a door
Which is nothing but imagination’s core.

I remember the optimism of the past
But now it just flew away,
cast Into the black hole where it shall last,
Since time’s rate will always remain fast.

Innocence was all i was those days,
And I, thinking that forever it stays
With all its shapes and its ways,
Was mistaken.

Sadly, those days now come to an end,
And easily, I can perceive the trend
Because life on earth can never bend
Time’s flow, and its way to mend.

Ok this not completely written by me.... but i really liked it... n yaa... i think this is what i was till sometime back.. Though a lot of me is still this...
But i think now im growing up..tripping..falling..pulling myself back up from the ground...everything is a good experience though..

Currently tough wood evertyhnig is going on just about fine in my life... there are some low days in life.. but what the heck.. if there are never any low days.. how would we enjoy the HIGH days haa.. :-)

Yaaa.. so now im off to sleep... n gonna watch wake up sid for the second time tom... it's a really cute movie.. it's a very refrshing movie.. not too much to think about.. n a bit like my life.. without taking much stress n living life as in come..

Love ull..
Taa

Some random thoughts

What you get out of life, is what you put in.... this is something i got on my cell, while i playing a game called brain champ on my cell.. that i play everyday.. n guess what it told me today.. "that my brain was as good as albert einstein... hahahaha... that made me happy... AM I THAT CLEVER??? ;-)
Anyways, i think the quote it told me at the end of it was perfect... what you get out of life is how much you put in... n the way you put in.
I somewhere from college days.. always maintained that i even if someone has done something bad.. or hurt me or was agaisnt me for something... it's not me who's gonna teach him a lesson.
Because i always think that there is GOD.. and HE will somehow give it back to you in some way.. and i don't have to stoop down to the opposite person level.. and become like him.
I know one thing that i can never be very mean or cunning to people especially those who i love a lot... even if i may be hurt the most by that one person... i will never ever wish that anything bad would happen to him.. or i will never curse him in any sort... Because i always beleive in GOD.
Not that i believe that i don't have to anything in life and HE will give me everything i want.. i know that it doesn't work that way.. but ya when you need him i think he's always there somewhere..
And i am still somehow very happy nowdays.. the smile did stay for a long time.. but only two days back.. it was really bad... i felt very low for some reason.. i actually sat crying in the train.. and the tears were flowing like some tap.. but ya it did do good to me... i think i have become even more happier... lolss..
As long as i am happy.. that's what matters at the end of it all... :-) :-)
SMILE ALWYS... :-)

Happily ever after....

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway ...

Was seeing a movie today.. where this song was being played.. n suddenly i felt like i wanna have wings and fly the world around.. tell everyone how much i care.. i love all he people around me.. and reach the highest point possible...
I dunno why.. but since i few days im in a mood to tell everyone how much i love them.. and how much they mean to me in my life.. and i started that good thing with my mom.. i finally felt like my life was complete with a gr8 family.. and possibly the best frds anyone could ever get.. THANK YOU EVERYONE... :-)

I am very happy nowdays for some reason.. probably its the clarity in life i have now... what i want.. what i dont want.. who i want in my life... and who means how much to me in my life..

MY PRIORITIES---that's what iti always tell me.. :-) thanks.. muahh..
*FAMILY
*FRIENDS
*WORK
*HAPPINESS
everything else follows...

and im listening to bubbly face.. n its making me smile... :-)
u make me smile..please stay for a while now...

And one more thing thats keeping me excited.. is my trip to DELHI... here i come delhi.. :-)
So all the guys beware... hahha

I think its also ams words.. that he goes on telling me in every single conversation we have (n tht's like atleast 5 times a day).. "TAARIKA YOUR SO LUCKY"... :-).. n probably that's what i think im lucky.. and i think i know theres God.. He'll put everything in place.. and Moss was telling me yest.. Taar u are always so positve in life..how come?? ur alwas smiling and happy go lucky.. and i thank God and myself for being like this...

Just smile.. :-)
Love Taa..

Fracture-- For a change a good thing---

I suppose the fracture of my toe was a blessing in disguise.. was off the entire week from work.. though i really wanted to work ..but my boss through me out from office.. so basically just sat at home most of the time... and spent some wonderful time with my family.

I also spent watching movies and reading a shobha de book.. which was pending since years.

But i think spending time with kids is the best.. they are soo innocent. I could watch them for hours just hopping from one place to another.

I think life is kindda shaping up to what i want.. though there many parts of my life still empty .. BUT WHAT THE HECK.. one can't get everything they want. If that was so then there wouldn't be anything in the world that one would fight and strive hard to achieve. I am kindda happy with what i have at present.... though probably once in two days i go into some mode.. but i recover really fast thankfully.. :-)

And my family is going mad again with the plans of shifting.. If i do shift then this would be the third time in around 8 years... And probably in another 5 years i may get married.. so there you go.. one more shift for me.. lolss..

I have been seeing houses which is fun though.. contemplating on which side of chembur.. the distance problem.. the area.. the society.. i think by the end of all this i could become a broker for sure.. hahahha...

I was a bit low some weeks back.. but then i think it's no use being sad on something or some situation.. one should just be happy.. and everything will fall into place.

Oh ya and one more reason for me to be happy is i finally got a new cell phone.. i have been listening to songs for ever on that.. and now my next step is to buy a Laptop for myself (which my dad will also use) and wish to give something to my parents.. my minds only working on that now days.. but can't pin point on one thing..

Anywas smile ... its helps in the long run.. ur will look prettier..and trust me on that

Love Taa

Life....

Life seems life a bird at times,
Free of all your worries at one moment
And you will think everything's going your way,
When an obstical comes that shortens your happiness
But probably that's what life is all about
NOTHING LASTS FOREVER...

People come and go like the sea waves,
But every person that comes into your life
Comes for a purpose i guess,
To teach you something in someway or the other.

And one fine day even we will be gone,
That time probably people who left us
Will come back someway by remebering us then
But till then don't cry on someone that was a part of your life
And now isn't.

Because if it was meant only for that short time,
Then so be it.
As there would be someone else to take that person's place
If not in the same way feeling,
But someone will come.

I don't know from where this came.. i think i just had to put down something ... n went on writing.. :-)
N i am listening to some beautiful songs...so i think thats what got me doing this...

Hmmm... Life

I know it's been a long time since i have blogged.. but i think it's ok... been a bit busy.. and had an eventful weekend..
Was going to ameya's house for dinner on Saturday.. and on the way.. slipped at a station and after 3 hours of me jumping around...playing badminton on the court... jumping from one corner to another.... only at 11 in the night did i realise the pain was unbareable...
Went with ameya and mausam to the hospital and got an x-ray done.. n realised hello.. it's a hairline fracture...
N wat more i fainted in the hospital.. it was some kindda of an experience...
But now i am at home.. sitting with my leg on the bolster trying to reduce my pain.. but it's hurting a lot..
N something i saw on facebook hurt me more today... so i think my smile is fading of my face now....
I dunno what to do... how to act.. i don't feel like telling anything to any1..because no1 will ever understand ..nor do i expect any1 to understand... just feel like being by myself.. but i think that hurts even more...
I think i need to get a complete change in my life... how ..why..wen..for wat... i dunno... but i think i wanna...
Anywas i don't wanna type anymore... or i'll go non-stop and write sometihng which i shouldn't out here...
But people still SMILE... :-)
Oh ya and coz of this fracture i can't wear a saree on Friday.. that's making me feel bad also...
Love,
Taa

A smile that on stuck on my FACE :-)

I dunno why.. but i have this smile on my face since yesterday.. and touchwood its refusing to go..
and u will ask me why is that so..
n trust me i dont have an answer to that...
but i ain't complaning.. atleast for sometime i can see myself in the mirror and be happy that my face is looking good with a smile on...
I think its probably the change in my attitude towards life and towards people around me that has got me this new avtar..
have realised that i should be happy because i wanna be happy... and not coz some1 else is making me happy or sad..
and i wanna keep it that way only.. that NO1 i mean actually NO1 should affect my mood in anyway.
Ya if im depressed because of some reaosn or some person.. its fine... Just let it be.. and let it go..
Because its not worth wasting one's time and energy on something and someone for more than 5 mins....
Though i should probably not being the one talking abt it... because i would be the one crying over something for weeks to months....
But NOW its the NEW me... and im HAPPY being the NEW ME!!!! :-)
I have a wonderful FAMILY, GR8 FRIENDS --- who are always there by my side -- WORK going on good... nothing to complain about..
What more can i ask for... nothing i suppose.
SO everyone just be happy.. n SMILE always...
because just a smile can make a lot of difference to one's pretty face.. and attitude...
:-)
LOVE,
Taa ... :-)

Super-excited

Im so excited about this new thing in my life..
I think its really gonna help me...
Though i dunno what suddenly got me into signing up..
I think it was the boredom in office... and me not well.. so just aimlessly waiting to get back home..
was going through ITI's blog.. so thought might as well sign up for one..
Though me not sure how often would i be blogging...
But atleast for starters coz of my excitement i think im gonna be doing it very often :-)
The day hasn't been tht gr8.. have a sprain on my neck-- which is just not ready to go , have slight fever and this sudden horrible cold..
N generally a little low about something.. which i have been trying to evade n trying hard to keep that smile since a LONG LONG time... But i think now its catching up.. how much can one run away from the truth...
But when we fall, we always learn to get up somehow... i think this is just the learning stage for me.. theres a lot more in store for me.. :-)
Anywas me off now.. got some work to do now...
will hopefully keep blogging.. :-)
Love ,
Taa